Even for a moment
by Shelby McQueen
Summary: What would happen on the Rainbow Bridge, if Seishirou would quit being a jerk and would stop and think for a second. Was written long ago for my real-life Subaru-kun, who gave me the task to write: "Seishirou/Subaru, anything about the world's end".


**_Disclaimer:_** I don't own anything, hearts and souls, and characters belong to CLAMP.

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><p><strong><em><strong><em>Even for a moment<em>**_**

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><p>"<em>The ashes will fall on your hand."<em>

"_Are you worried about me? That is so kind. You haven't changed a bit."_

"_I have been changed. By you I suppose. You… don't care about me, right?"_

Subaru expected to hear anything in return then, even silence, which would signal the beginning of the battle on the Rainbow Bridge. What he didn't expect to hear from this man, was his reply.

"_Wrong."_

At first he thought he misheard. But today, as he sat inside the house of his archenemy, he couldn't believe that, after all these years, the story of him and Seishirou would take a different turn. Outside in the Sakurazukamori's garden the wind was dancing along with sakura petals, and camellias were blooming crimson. It was hard to believe that just yesterday the two men were both standing on the Rainbow Bridge, ready to fight until death.

"More tea, Subaru-kun?" – the same even tone of speech, as usual.

Seishirou's voice was emotionless, as his face. Subaru was watching him closely, trying to find the trap in his actions, but the man was an impenetrable wall impossible to read, as always.

"Seishirou-san…" – Subaru inhaled deeply. – "The things you told me about… about the last wish and spell of Hokuto-chan… is it truth?" – he asked for the umpteenth time. – "I just want to know that I had a good reason to escape with my enemy from Kamui and others."

Seishirou smirked, poured more tea into Subaru's cup, and sat on the floor opposite of him, crossing his legs.

"Yes. Just as I told you," – his voice remained emotionless and colorless. – "I came to the Bridge knowing that the one who'll be there shall be you."

"But why…?" – Subaru was spinning the cup in his hands mechanically.

"Why did your sister do that? Perhaps because she knew me better than I did myself. And you too. 'Kamui' of the Dragons of Earth told me once, that I'm the only one who can fulfill your true wish. But… that your wish isn't the one I'm thinking about," – Seishirou's gaze met Subaru's eyes - mismatched, as his own. – "Don't you wish to kill me?"

Subaru returned the look openly.

"You're wrong."

Seishirou nodded.

"I thought about 'Kamui's' words. That's why exactly I wanted to talk to you first, without others interfering. After all, we can continue our battle any moment. The barriers will fall without our help, so that's irrelevant."

The onmyouji took a sip from his cup. It was difficult for him to speak, but even after all these years Subaru caught himself… hoping.

"You killed Hokuto in front of my eyes and disappeared. I… was trying to kill you. In the depths of my soul I wanted to erase the memories of you and live on… but I couldn't. Even if you do not think about me… even if you don't feel anything towards me… it didn't matter. I wanted… to be killed by you."

Barely noticeable twitching of Seishirou's hand slipped from Subaru's attention.

"You'd soon forget that you killed me - I'd be just one of many victims of the sakura," – he continued, staring at his cup of tea mindlessly. – "But even so… it would be you."

"When you think about it… you could never kill anybody. Because you're too kind," – Seishirou looked at him. – "Subaru-kun, you… do you still love me?"

Subaru blushed angrily.

"Why do you ask? As if that would change anything," – he said bitterly, putting the cup aside.

"Just answer me."

For one long moment Subaru was struggling with himself.

"I do," – he breathed at last, squeezing his fists. – "If you wanted to humiliate and destroy me more than you already did, you've succeeded."

He didn't notice how Seishirou appeared right beside him. The man touched Subaru's chin, making him look into his eyes.

"You are so stupid, Subaru-kun."

He leaned closer to onmyouji's ear, and whispered something to him. Subaru's eyes widened.

"You never say… the words I expect to hear from you," – he shivered, and buried his face in the Sakurazukamori's shirt.

The assassin hugged him gently and stroked his hair.

"Because it's more interesting that way, isn't it, Subaru-kun?"

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><p>"Subaru! Subaru, where were you? Are you alright?"<p>

Kamui was pale and had dark circles under his eyes. Subaru felt the prick of guilt.

"I… I'm sorry, I was just…"

"Subaru!" – Sorata fled out of the other room. – "Dude, we were searching for you everywhere! Where have you gone? What's with the Sakurazukamori? Did you… kill him?"

Subaru was standing in the middle of the hall, not daring to begin to speak.

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><p>"<em>Sei…Seishirou?"<em>

"_To call him by his name feels so unusual…" – Subaru nuzzled his face in older man's shoulder, lying beside him._

_They were still in the Sakurazukamori's home, in the bed together. Subaru couldn't believe it was happening to him, but traces of bites on his neck and bruises on his wrists, as well as pleasant fatigue that came over him after they took a shower, spoke differently._

"_Yes, Subaru-kun?"_

"_He's still calling me the way he always did… but it doesn't matter now, does it?" – Subaru thought._

"_What do we do now?"_

_Subaru froze in the assassin's embrace, when he felt Seishirou was caressing his hair._

"_Is this really happening to me?" – he mused. – "Can this be real? I don't believe… yet I want to believe."_

"_We must leave Tokyo."_

_The onmyouji jerked. "But…"_

_Seishirou lit his cigarette and drew in a smoke._

"_The barriers will fall or stand without us. You feel that too, I know. We no longer play any specific role in the end of the world, because we have changed our own destiny."_

"_But I can still make a kekkai!" – Subaru objected. – "Kamui might need me to help him!"_

_The Sakurazukamori shook his head._

"_I am not willing to mend your pieces together should you run into the others Dragons of Earth again. I'd kill them all, should that occur - or at least would try to, in 'Kamui's' case - but I doubt it would help me. Tokyo is doomed. Yet still…" – the man smiled a little. - "The Earth can stand."_

_Subaru sat, leaning on his hands, and frowned, looking into the man's face._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Your Kamui needs to understand something. Then he'll have a chance."_

"_A chance…?"_

"_To save everything. But that does not depend on us, not anymore. About us – we need to get out of the way."_

"_But I cannot leave Kamui just like that!"_

_Seishirou sat on the bed too, and pulled Subaru closer. He stroked his cheek and looked at him seriously._

"_If we stay here after what we did… or better, what we **didn't** do yesterday – we'll both die. Or at least I will. Everything was preordained from the beginning, but I've broken the chain of events with my decision to talk to you instead of fighting. You must understand this. The only thing we can do now to avoid destroying the world with our own hands, to restore a bit of balance to it – is not to meddle anymore. We have to leave and wait this all through at the safe place. This is… our price. Do you understand me? Subaru?"_

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><p>"Subaru?" – Kamui was watching him with worry. – "Are you feeling alright?"<p>

Subaru sighed and closed his eyes.

"_I understand… Seishirou."_

"Kamui… I need to talk to you."

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><p>"Leaving? But where to?" – Kamui looked like a lost child.<p>

"Frankly, I do not know myself. Seishirou will organize everything."

Kamui looked at Subaru with unreadable expression.

"'Seishirou'? Subaru, do you understand _whom _are you talking about? You believe him after everything that happened?"

The onmyouji smiled sadly.

"Kamui, I'm sorry. But yes. I do believe him."

"Subaru," – Kamui gritted his teeth. – "But he… he is…"

Subaru touched boy's cheek gently.

"Kamui, you must think only about fulfilling your own wish. Please, stop worrying about me."

Kamui closed his eyes.

"What if my wish makes somebody unhappy?"

"You cannot make everybody happy."

"Subaru…" – Kamui looked at the Dragon of Heaven with bitterness.

"You're tired. You need to get some sleep," – the onmyouji smiled. – "I'm sorry I didn't come earlier and made you worry. But I am alright, honestly."

Standing at the door, Kamui turned to him.

"When will we see each other again?"

Subaru nodded.

"I believe that you'll be able to make things right. Then I will be able to return."

The boy bit his lip.

"Alright then. I'll try my best."

"Good luck, Kamui."

"Subaru, please, take care of yourself."

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><p>"Subaru-kun! Over here!" – Seishirou waved his hand to draw the onmyouji's attention.<p>

Subaru barely made his way through the crowd at the airport. It seemed like everybody was leaving Tokyo - it was a miracle Seishirou managed to get tickets for the two of them, given the circumstances.

"Am I late? I'm sorry it took so long to get here…"

"Everything's fine, Subaru-kun," – the man fixed the collar on Subaru's coat. – "Are you finished with all your business now?"

Subaru nodded.

"I talked to Kamui."

"Good. Then, shall we?"

"Yes."

_"Even if the world should end… even if this is for a short moment… I can allow myself to be happy. Right, nee-san?"_

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><p>"<em>Of course, there are sins that cannot be undone… but there are no people who cannot love, Sei."<em>

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><p>"<em>You know, Hokuto-chan… you were right after all."<em>

"_You fool. Of course I'm right."_

"_Thank you."_

"_Don't miss at least this chance… you silly Sei-chan."_


End file.
